Category Archives: silly
A Shade of Brown
At the end of my rope, for convenience I rely on my phone.
You disconnected your number. I’ve never felt so alone.
Tonight my mood dropped even further. I miss you friend.
The operator told me I made an error, looks like it’s really the end.
Lady we used to talk for hours, about days- gone-by.
Labor Day weekend is gonna be scorching. Your humor is so dry.
You were the only person that believed I’d see success.
Fame and Fortune escaped my grasp. Bad luck has such finesse.
Maybe I could see up together accepting an academy award.
Fall is fast approaching. Feels like I swallowed a sword.
As the leaves fall from the trees, the gold is a Shade of Brown.
This single bed feels like forever. I can’t drag myself to town.
Anxiety explodes to depression. Is there a life lesson to learn?
We walked together in the meadow. It’s time to let it burn.
Even though the pain is fierce! Maybe it has nothing to do with me?
Without your enthusiasm I’ve been seduced by self-pity.
Don’t ever remember falling off a cliff at such an elevation.
Insecure territory is a tragic playground!!! I’m plagued by procrastination!!!
Rewind this fatal scene in slow-motion. I need to change lanes.
How can you measure misfortune? In the end I’ll take the blame.
The fast lane seems to have invited, confessions stained with tarnish.
You try to break-free, reflection mirages a
Everybody hears bad news. I’d knock, but there is no door.
Scorn is the opposite of forgiveness. I never thought you’d keep score.
As I go about living life.
Love is a dangerous proposition. Common sense has its purpose. Fools live by intuition.
When a thief robs a bank, a bag of cash is his goal.
I found your consolation at the bottom of this hole.
A day late, Digitizing a Movement from Harvard Gazette.
To many modern Christians, words like “meditation,” “mystic,” and “mysticism” bring to mind Eastern religions, not Christianity. Certainly Eastern religions are known for their mysticism; however, mysticism is not only a vital part of the Christian heritage as well, but it is actually the core of Christian spirituality. Mysticism simply means the spirituality of the direct experience of God. It is the adventure of “the wild things of God.”
The direct experience of God is a kind of knowing, which goes beyond intellectual understanding. It is not a matter of “belief.” It is marked by love and joy, but it is not “emotional experience.” In many ways, it is better described by what it is not. To describe what it is, we must use metaphors—the marriage of the soul to Christ, the death of the “old man” and birth of the “new man,” being the “body of Christ.”
Jesus proclaimed “I and the Father are one,” (Jn. 10.30) showing the world what the union of God and man can be. Christian mysticism is about nothing else but this transforming union.
“Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths.” (2 Timothy 4:2-4)
I have spent my life. driven by an inner. undeniable need, trying to find my way closer and closer to God: it is not a trivial thing. I was from an early age full of a loneliness and desire that I could not name. I can’t live any other way. The only thing that satisfies me is to keep making the spiritual effort, Sadhana, without it I may as well not exist.
My life has been full of visions, voices, indescribable encounters with the ultimate and Un-Nameable One. And I still have no dog in the fight between the various wings of the Christian churches from the most liberal Quaker Meeting to the most Fundamentalist Church. I mat sometimes slip but I want mostly to remain open because I know only tht I don’t know. So I can’t, in good concience, argue dogma or anti-dogma. I have my feelings and the things that are closest to beliefs but I can’t say who is right or wrong, if anyone is.
I suspect that none can speak the truth because by it’s very nature, truth is unspeakable.
Who coyld resist a laser-heated cesium chamber in your pocket!
A New Hope (click if it doesn’t animate, huge file, but what do you expect when you get to see essentially the movie in just a few minutes.
Enough! from the Procrastitorian
The world’s best dad.
Cristian Mihai, On Letting Go
(From Maitripa College) H.H. Sakya Trizin, Lama Etiquette:
Maitripa wants to know your questions for His Holiness. Some will be selected for the Q&A!
In This Issue HH Sakya Trizin Lama Etiquette Summit Security In the News Ask the Dalai Lama Sold Out! Classical Tibetan Language Earn you MA or MDiv Degree
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This Week at MaitripaJust a bit over a week until His Holiness the Dalai Lama and His Holiness Sakya Trizin arrive for the Dalai Lama Environmental Summit!
His Holiness Sakya Trizin to teach at MaitripaMaitripa College is very honored to announce that His Holiness Sakya Trizin, head of the Sakya school of Tibetan Buddhism, has accepted our invitation to offer a special teaching at Maitripa College on Sunday, May 12, at 6pm. Registration and further details coming soon!
Lama Etiquette & ProtocolYangsi Rinpoche invites the community participating in the Dalai Lama Environmental Summit, including ticket holders and volunteers, to attend a presentation by Dean Namdrol Miranda Adams regarding Lama etiquette and protocol. THURSDAY, 6 – 7 pm.
Public Teaching with Yangsi RinpochePlease join public teachings with President Yangsi Rinpoche on Thursday evening at 7:30 pm. Donations gratefully accepted.
Security for Dalai Lama Environmental SummitFor the safety of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and all event participants, the following items are prohibited from the venues:Weapons
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Outside food or drinkNo video/audio recording is allowed, and no professional camera lenses or flash photography are permittedBecause there are no storage facilities available and these prohibited items can not pass through the security screening, please leave these and similar items at home.
PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY TO ALLOW TIME TO GO THROUGH SECURITY AND TAKE YOUR SEAT. Doors will open at least two hours prior to the start time of each event/session.
In the News…We invite you to peruse the videos, articles, and updates about Maitripa and the upcoming visit by His Holiness.
Ask His Holiness the Dalai Lama!
We would like to hear from members of the Maitripa Community (and beyond!)! Submit your question for His Holiness the Dalai Lama!
A limited number of questions will be posted on the event website, and some will be selected for the Q&A sessions during public events on May 9 or May 11, 2013 in Portland, Oregon.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama Events are Sold OutTickets are currently sold out for all events of the Dalai Lama Environmental Summit. We look forward to seeing you all there!(And for those who cannot join us in person, please stay tuned for information about webcasting; we are finalizing these details now.)
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First, this news from “Verge”
“Massive Botnet Using Brute Force to Attack WordPress Sites” and this, of course, is a wordpress site. They have been good to me over the years and I have found them to host many useful and diverse blogs around the world.
Just learned of these two today- Bhardmazbhardmaz and Full of Roses Inspirational Photography and Poetry. Sometime I should just do a page of good wordpress blogs that I follow.
So, I plan to change my password, try to make it more obscure and difficult to remember.
Computer parade, east germany:
Cuteness explosion invades [caturday]:
Not all assassins are very good at it:
Who would even guess that I’d be writing a health update?
About 2 weeks ago I was woken in the night by severe pain in my left calf. For a few nights I was routinely awake with pain in the night. It was at first very localized in a specific part of my calf muscle (seemingly). I couldn’t get in to see my Primary Care Physician. She prescribed some pain medication to take at night. The medication had no effect and the area affected was spreading, so I went to Urgent Care a couple days later. They did their best to rule out the most diabolical possible causes using ultra-sound and blood tests. Nothing serious seemed to be happening and at the time the pain was still mostly at night, with some residual pain in the morning that tended to be reduced quite a bit by evening only to erupt again with some intensity at about 2 am.
The Nurse Practioner that provided my service felt confident that blood clots and other vascular issues were not present. She prescribed stronger pain pills for night-time and added a mild muscle relaxer (cyclobenzeprine).
The following night the pain was very severe and encompassed most of my leg from thigh to ankle. The pain was also not reducing as much during the day and I was unable to dress my self without great difficulty and time. I was beginning to feel it in my buttocks. Sitting on the toilet was very painful. I was also becoming quite constipated from opiod use.
Somewhere in here I had had another visit to Urgent Care. X-rays were taken, no relevant information gained. They ordered an MRI, of my hip, lower spine and pelvis, which I had the very next day at the hospital. Then I heard nothing back for a few days, no result information was provided.
By this time I had seen 4 different medical practioners on 4 different visitors and had been unable to talk with or even correspond with my Primary Care Physician. I was grateful that I had an appointment within a couple days with my doctor at my usual clinic. The pain was quite severe and had taken over my life morning, day and night. During this time I also had my first major bowel movement since being on pain med- it was excruciating. It was not painful at the point of exit but my left buttock and thigh hurt so badly I was left on the floor of the bathroom crying. It was the worst physical pain I can remember ever having.
[A very special thanks goes out to my most excellent friend Candace, my own personal nurse, who helped me through this process and kept my spirits up.]
So, with cautious optimism, I went to my appointment with my doctor. Unfortunately, she was out sick and my appointment had been turned over to an apparently overworked and surly gentleman who provided very little information, as quickly as he could, re-filled my Dilaudid script and gave me an after-visit summary hat included no useful information about my condition. The important things I learned at that visit were that the MRI provided evidence of some multiple nerve problems associated with possible herniated disks in my lower spine and that I would be taking oral prednisone right away followed by steroid injections. Scheduling the injections required use of imaging equipment to insure proper administration of the steroids. I was not told of potential side effects of the injections but was assured that I would receive substantial pain relief.
Yesterday I wrote an email to my doctor wondering out-loud if anyone was actually in charge of my care or if it was actually as fragmented and un-coordinated as it appeared. I asked if I would soon be given a diagnosis, in writing, of what was happening to me and when I might be able to return to work or at least do ordinary things like go to the bathroom or put on my own clothing. I was able to get her one the phone very soon later that day. She assured me that she was reviewing all the information, she apologized for being sick (she didn’t need to do that- I would have loved to get an apology from the surly and uninformative doctor who took her place). She also made an appointment with me for tomorrow- after my appointments with other specialists where I hope to get the promised relief.
[Now, I have what is considered in this country to be a “Cadillac Health Plan” of substantially higher quality than average and at a level the our new “Affordable Health Care” law will probably tax me for. I don’t mind that, really. If I am getting more than my fair share of the pie I am happy to pitch in if it means that more people, if not everyone, can get access to basic care.]
The pharmacist told me that the prednisone would have possibly drastic effects on my blood glucose levels which I would need to monitor very carefully. He also said that I could anticipate some mood irregularity and that it was important to follow the directions exactly, especially concerning the weaning off of the prednisone because of potentially serious side effects.
I look forward to tomorrow with “cautious optimism”. I learned this phrase from my very articulate and precisely spoken co-worker, Malcolm.
I think I’m ready but I am a bit nervous. I’ve been off since 2/10/2012. Oregon State Hospital- here is a state propaganda page.
Some things have changed while I was gone. Everyone is now moved into the new hospital building. Even me. No more big comfortable, private office- I’m in a giant cube-farm. This will take some getting used to.
The word is that most patients find it to be much more prison-like. There is no real “outside”- yards are internal, surrounded by tall walls, space is limited more in some ways. There is no real space where people can congregate and talk. Dining is now in shifts of 30 minutes each, treatment groups happen in rooms attached to crowded narrow hallways.
Staff are also concerned about the new building and the whole new set of rules and restrictions that have emerged over the past 6 months
Many staff there are excellent people. Most of them are having trouble working in the new environment. But the propaganda machine is telling everyone it’s great, so really what are people complaining about?
Recently a staff person died while restraining a patient. The death was your basic heart attack unrelated to the events, other than there was probably some physical exertion going on. The guy is someone who always looked like a walking coronary. He was 36 years old.
Peace out Matthew. Rest easy. You don’t need to come to work tomorrow. I do though.
Wish me luck. I will need all the good vibes I can muster.
Okay, lets do something different. Funny stuff or things that caught my eye. And a bit of music. We’ll start with music to make the whole segue thing more realistic. Lisa Germano singing “Destroy the Flower”.
This is cool- if you like this sort of thing-
Below is important instructions from Goopy…
We went to bring some cake to her place
had to get a Zipcar
cried, talked to her,
sang happy birthday
now we’re drinking (I never drink)
by tomorrow, back to
usual degree of grief
[Carrot cake because, well, we know who will actually eat it and trying not to be too destructive to life…]
I pray each day to keep my heart open. Really I do.
And I work in a place where the suffering is so intense it burns-
Oregon State Hospital-
and I think it’s the right thing.
I always wish I had not been blind.
Wish I had done this and that different.
But I did the best I could without access to a time machine.
I did the best I could.
Made me a better parent.
I knew better what was important.
I raised my boys really good.
They have become the sweetest, most gentle men-
that is worth something.
I still cried. Worse than last year.
A sucker punch.
Thank you, Erin, and Mike Tyson-
The pain doesn’t go away.
Maybe that’s all it was meant to do.
For all the years sucked up in madness and despair,
I can’t give away even one moment.
Nothing else would bring me here.
Right here is the right place.
Thank you lord-
you have shown me the path of love:
Now, just so we don’t lose track of the punchline…
私達は彼女の場所にケーキを持って来ることを行った Zipcarを得なければならなかった 、彼女に話されて叫ばれる、 誕生日おめでとうを歌った 今we’ 再飲むこと(決して私飲み物) 明日までに、に戻って 通常の程度の悲しみ 、よく、私達が知っているので[ニンジン・ケーキだれが実際にそれをおよび食べるか生命に余りに有害ではないべきを…試みる] 私は私の中心を開いた保つために毎日祈る。 実際に私は。 そして私は苦労がある従って強い燃える場所で働く オレゴンの州立病院 そして私はit’を考える; s正しいこと。 私はずっと私が盲目ではないことを常に望む。 願いIは別のこれおよびこれをした。 しかし私は私によってタイムマシンへのアクセスなしでできた最善を尽した。 私は私によってできた最善を尽した。 私によりよい親をされる。 私は重要だったものをもっとよく知っていた。 私はよい私の男の子を実際に育てた。 彼らは最も甘くのほとんどの穏やかな人なった それは何かの価値がある。 私はまだ叫んだ。 ひどくより去年。 不意打ち。 あなた、ErinおよびマイクTyson-に感謝しなさい 苦痛doesn’ tはなくなる。 それは深まる。 多分that’ sすべてすることを意味した。 狂気および絶望で吸われるすべての年のため I can’ tは1時を与える。 何も私をここに連れて来る。 右の場所はここに正しくある。 主ありがとう 私に愛の道を示した: 荒廃。 今度は、ちょうどそう私達don’ tは失うパンチラインのトラックを…
Back to English-
We must obtain Zipcar which does, you speaking to her, you shout, you question that it comes having the cake in her place with your birthday [me] now we’ when you sing returning to the thing (never my beverage) tomorrow which re-drinks, usual sorrow, to be good, because we have known, [carrot cake someone really and eats that, it should not be excessively harmful in life…Everyday you pray because try] I opened my center and maintain. Actually as for me. The Oregonian state hospital which works at the place where and I is hardship and therefore it forces and burn and I think it'[wo]; s be correct. I always desire the fact that directly I am not the blind person. Request I did difference remains and this. But as for me without access to the time machine depending upon me the best which it is possible was exhausted. As for me the best which it is possible with me was exhausted. The good parent is done by me. I had known those which are important better. I raised the good my boy really. As for them that you have become the sweet most calm people is some value. I shouted still. It is terrible from last year. Surprise. You, Erin or microphone Tyson-[ni] do to appreciate there is no pain doesn’ t. That becomes deep. The fact that’ s it does perhaps entirely was meant. Because of all years which are inhaled in insanity and despair I can’ t gives 1 o’clock. What comes accompanying me here. Just there is a place the right here. The main thing the road of love was shown thank you in me: Devastation. This time, the track/truck of the punch line which so we don’ t lose exactly…