Today

We went to bring some cake to her place
had to get a Zipcar
cried, talked to her,
sang happy birthday
now we’re drinking (I never drink)

by tomorrow, back to
usual degree of grief

[Carrot cake because, well, we know who will actually eat it and trying not to be too destructive to life…]

I pray each day to keep my heart open. Really I do.
And I work in a place where the suffering is so intense it burns-
Oregon State Hospital-
and I think it’s the right thing.

I always wish I had not been blind.
Wish I had done this and that different.
But I did the best I could without access to a time machine.
I did the best I could.

Made me a better parent.
I knew better what was important.
I raised my boys really good.
They have become the sweetest, most gentle men-
that is worth something.

I still cried. Worse than last year.
A sucker punch.
Thank you, Erin, and Mike Tyson-
The pain doesn’t go away.
It deepens.
Maybe that’s all it was meant to do.

For all the years sucked up in madness and despair,
I can’t give away even one moment.
Nothing else would bring me here.
Right here is the right place.

Thank you lord-

you have shown me the path of love:

devastation.

Now, just so we don’t lose track of the punchline…

Babelfisj sez:

私達は彼女の場所にケーキを持って来ることを行った Zipcarを得なければならなかった 、彼女に話されて叫ばれる、 誕生日おめでとうを歌った 今we’ 再飲むこと(決して私飲み物) 明日までに、に戻って 通常の程度の悲しみ 、よく、私達が知っているので[ニンジン・ケーキだれが実際にそれをおよび食べるか生命に余りに有害ではないべきを…試みる] 私は私の中心を開いた保つために毎日祈る。 実際に私は。 そして私は苦労がある従って強い燃える場所で働く オレゴンの州立病院 そして私はit’を考える; s正しいこと。 私はずっと私が盲目ではないことを常に望む。 願いIは別のこれおよびこれをした。 しかし私は私によってタイムマシンへのアクセスなしでできた最善を尽した。 私は私によってできた最善を尽した。 私によりよい親をされる。 私は重要だったものをもっとよく知っていた。 私はよい私の男の子を実際に育てた。 彼らは最も甘くのほとんどの穏やかな人なった それは何かの価値がある。 私はまだ叫んだ。 ひどくより去年。 不意打ち。 あなた、ErinおよびマイクTyson-に感謝しなさい 苦痛doesn’ tはなくなる。 それは深まる。 多分that’ sすべてすることを意味した。 狂気および絶望で吸われるすべての年のため I can’ tは1時を与える。 何も私をここに連れて来る。 右の場所はここに正しくある。 主ありがとう 私に愛の道を示した: 荒廃。 今度は、ちょうどそう私達don’ tは失うパンチラインのトラックを…

Back to English-

We must obtain Zipcar which does, you speaking to her, you shout, you question that it comes having the cake in her place with your birthday [me] now we’ when you sing returning to the thing (never my beverage) tomorrow which re-drinks, usual sorrow, to be good, because we have known, [carrot cake someone really and eats that, it should not be excessively harmful in life…Everyday you pray because try] I opened my center and maintain. Actually as for me. The Oregonian state hospital which works at the place where and I is hardship and therefore it forces and burn and I think it'[wo]; s be correct. I always desire the fact that directly I am not the blind person. Request I did difference remains and this. But as for me without access to the time machine depending upon me the best which it is possible was exhausted. As for me the best which it is possible with me was exhausted. The good parent is done by me. I had known those which are important better. I raised the good my boy really. As for them that you have become the sweet most calm people is some value. I shouted still. It is terrible from last year. Surprise. You, Erin or microphone Tyson-[ni] do to appreciate there is no pain doesn’ t. That becomes deep. The fact that’ s it does perhaps entirely was meant. Because of all years which are inhaled in insanity and despair I can’ t gives 1 o’clock. What comes accompanying me here. Just there is a place the right here. The main thing the road of love was shown thank you in me: Devastation. This time, the track/truck of the punch line which so we don’ t lose exactly…

HST photos of Neptune

07 – Happiness