I have nothing else to report.
Not that I want to talk about on the internets anyway.
Click these sports pics if they don’t animate. They are huge files and WordPress doesn’t always handle them well.
I have a wing injury which has been difficult but little else in terms of trouble. I’ll show a picture later.
Work is alright. Its hard but not in a way that hurts my spirit. I’m not keeping up with many of my wellness goals from when I was off work. But I’m doing some of it and making it okay.
Some things I just don’t want to talk about yet.
My head and heart are mostly in balance. There have been hard things, as always, but I am mostly untroubled. My energy level is not what I would like but right now that’s because of the tendinitis in my shoulder. Today I got a cortisone shot.
We had such a wet June that frogs and their children are very happy. Even into July we still have lots of water in marginal habitat areas like ditches and seasonal marshlands. So, that’s good.
Someone, a patient, at work dies a few weeks ago and that was tough and a bit frustrating.
Here are some pictures I’ve found or taken:
better add music-
That’s Annie, sleeping in the pot by the window.
Rumi- from here:
You are in love with me, I shall make you perplexed.
Do not build much, for I intend to have you in ruins. If you build two hundred houses in a manner that the bees do; I shall make you as homeless as a fly. If you are the mount Qaf in stability. I shall make you whirl like a millstone.
Now you’ve departed and gone to the Unseen-
On what strange ways you’ve gone from our world!
You shook your feathers and you broke the cage;
You flew away, far, to the soul’s own world.
You were a hawk, encaged by Mrs. World.
You heard the drum and flew to Where-no-place.
You were a nightingale among the owls-
The garden’s scent came; you went to the rose.
You suffered headache from these bitter dregs-
At last you went to the eternal tavern…
The rose flees from the autumn-daring rose
That you went on in the autumnal wind!
You fell like rain on the terrestrial roof,
Run here and there, escaping through the spout.
Be silent-there is no more pain of speaking:
You are protected by a loving friend!
I think I’m ready but I am a bit nervous. I’ve been off since 2/10/2012. Oregon State Hospital- here is a state propaganda page.
Some things have changed while I was gone. Everyone is now moved into the new hospital building. Even me. No more big comfortable, private office- I’m in a giant cube-farm. This will take some getting used to.
The word is that most patients find it to be much more prison-like. There is no real “outside”- yards are internal, surrounded by tall walls, space is limited more in some ways. There is no real space where people can congregate and talk. Dining is now in shifts of 30 minutes each, treatment groups happen in rooms attached to crowded narrow hallways.
Staff are also concerned about the new building and the whole new set of rules and restrictions that have emerged over the past 6 months
Many staff there are excellent people. Most of them are having trouble working in the new environment. But the propaganda machine is telling everyone it’s great, so really what are people complaining about?
Recently a staff person died while restraining a patient. The death was your basic heart attack unrelated to the events, other than there was probably some physical exertion going on. The guy is someone who always looked like a walking coronary. He was 36 years old.
Peace out Matthew. Rest easy. You don’t need to come to work tomorrow. I do though.
Wish me luck. I will need all the good vibes I can muster.
Okay, lets do something different. Funny stuff or things that caught my eye. And a bit of music. We’ll start with music to make the whole segue thing more realistic. Lisa Germano singing “Destroy the Flower”.
This is cool- if you like this sort of thing-
Below is important instructions from Goopy…
Just so you know.
click the next one if it doesn’t animate
go to goopymart!
Sound- Ben Folds, Jesusland:
If this doesn’t animate, click on it.
Also, look on the “Projects” page for photography by Imogen Cunningham. As of today there is only about 30 pictures, they are all black and white and they are all pictures of “flora”. I will be adding to this over time. These are huge files, big pictures. Your basic coffee-table book.
Coal War- Joshua James
We went to bring some cake to her place
had to get a Zipcar
cried, talked to her,
sang happy birthday
now we’re drinking (I never drink)
by tomorrow, back to
usual degree of grief
[Carrot cake because, well, we know who will actually eat it and trying not to be too destructive to life…]
I pray each day to keep my heart open. Really I do.
And I work in a place where the suffering is so intense it burns-
Oregon State Hospital-
and I think it’s the right thing.
I always wish I had not been blind.
Wish I had done this and that different.
But I did the best I could without access to a time machine.
I did the best I could.
Made me a better parent.
I knew better what was important.
I raised my boys really good.
They have become the sweetest, most gentle men-
that is worth something.
I still cried. Worse than last year.
A sucker punch.
Thank you, Erin, and Mike Tyson-
The pain doesn’t go away.
Maybe that’s all it was meant to do.
For all the years sucked up in madness and despair,
I can’t give away even one moment.
Nothing else would bring me here.
Right here is the right place.
Thank you lord-
you have shown me the path of love:
Now, just so we don’t lose track of the punchline…
私達は彼女の場所にケーキを持って来ることを行った Zipcarを得なければならなかった 、彼女に話されて叫ばれる、 誕生日おめでとうを歌った 今we’ 再飲むこと(決して私飲み物) 明日までに、に戻って 通常の程度の悲しみ 、よく、私達が知っているので[ニンジン・ケーキだれが実際にそれをおよび食べるか生命に余りに有害ではないべきを…試みる] 私は私の中心を開いた保つために毎日祈る。 実際に私は。 そして私は苦労がある従って強い燃える場所で働く オレゴンの州立病院 そして私はit’を考える; s正しいこと。 私はずっと私が盲目ではないことを常に望む。 願いIは別のこれおよびこれをした。 しかし私は私によってタイムマシンへのアクセスなしでできた最善を尽した。 私は私によってできた最善を尽した。 私によりよい親をされる。 私は重要だったものをもっとよく知っていた。 私はよい私の男の子を実際に育てた。 彼らは最も甘くのほとんどの穏やかな人なった それは何かの価値がある。 私はまだ叫んだ。 ひどくより去年。 不意打ち。 あなた、ErinおよびマイクTyson-に感謝しなさい 苦痛doesn’ tはなくなる。 それは深まる。 多分that’ sすべてすることを意味した。 狂気および絶望で吸われるすべての年のため I can’ tは1時を与える。 何も私をここに連れて来る。 右の場所はここに正しくある。 主ありがとう 私に愛の道を示した: 荒廃。 今度は、ちょうどそう私達don’ tは失うパンチラインのトラックを…
Back to English-
We must obtain Zipcar which does, you speaking to her, you shout, you question that it comes having the cake in her place with your birthday [me] now we’ when you sing returning to the thing (never my beverage) tomorrow which re-drinks, usual sorrow, to be good, because we have known, [carrot cake someone really and eats that, it should not be excessively harmful in life…Everyday you pray because try] I opened my center and maintain. Actually as for me. The Oregonian state hospital which works at the place where and I is hardship and therefore it forces and burn and I think it'[wo]; s be correct. I always desire the fact that directly I am not the blind person. Request I did difference remains and this. But as for me without access to the time machine depending upon me the best which it is possible was exhausted. As for me the best which it is possible with me was exhausted. The good parent is done by me. I had known those which are important better. I raised the good my boy really. As for them that you have become the sweet most calm people is some value. I shouted still. It is terrible from last year. Surprise. You, Erin or microphone Tyson-[ni] do to appreciate there is no pain doesn’ t. That becomes deep. The fact that’ s it does perhaps entirely was meant. Because of all years which are inhaled in insanity and despair I can’ t gives 1 o’clock. What comes accompanying me here. Just there is a place the right here. The main thing the road of love was shown thank you in me: Devastation. This time, the track/truck of the punch line which so we don’ t lose exactly…