Worklife Tour Continued

After I graduated from high school I got a part time job at the Southeast Youth Service Center as a Youth Outreach Counselor. My job was to hang out where kids were and encourage them to get counseling. Or something like that. Our office was on SE Division near 35th or something. I started there in 1973 and over the winter into 1974.

So I parked near where I thought the place used to be and looked around. It’s all semi-familiar anyway because of how much time I’ve lived in Portland, especially southeast.

I think it was in one of these places.

I was very shy, not at all outgoing. It was a terrible job for me but I did it because I thought I should be about social service. Some of that I got from Ananda Marga and the fact that I lived very inexpensively at the Jagriti. It was very uncomfortable work. First off, though I was young, I had no business hanging out where the kids were. The natural assumption was that I was a narc.

The way I figured out to deal with it was to spend all the rest of my time volunteering at the schools that were part of my target area- Cleveland High School and Sellwood Elementary. Having work at these places gave me cover to “hang out” and be paid for my job.

At Cleveland I became a classroom volunteer with the Options program which addressed the needs of students considered on the verge of failing or dropping out (also part of my demographic for work). I played a whole lot of jax in the cafeteria.

I drove over to Cleveland HS and took it’s picture.

While near Cleveland I looked in one some places I used to live that were nearby.

This place used to have a sign in the window that read “26th Ave Cleaners”. In the back was a living space. It was very small. Built by Mrs Majowski and her husband in had 2 levels and about 400 Ft sq. of space. I lived there with one other person before I moved across the street.
I think it was the red house but it could have been the white one. Robert and I can’t tell for sure. It’s across from the other place.

Back to 1973-74.

On alternate days I volunteered at the Trainable Mentally Retarded Classroom at Sellwood School. The “TMR” unit was the first of it’s kind in a regular Portland Public School. It was held in a trailer behind the school. I fell in love with the students.

A drive around Sellwood School- on the right.

I soon became aware that I hated my job and decided to volunteer full time. I spent most of my time working with the kids in the classroom at Sellwood. That was how I became aware of the job in June-early August at the Kiwanis Camp on Mt. Hood. So, when school let out I headed up to Rhododendron for the summer.

Over the next 10 weeks there would be a different group of disabled kids at the camp every week. They were grouped by age (with at least 3 weeks devoted to adults) and type/ level of disabling condition. There were camps full of hyperactive little kids and camps full of people in wheelchairs and lots of just amazing people I had never seen before. It was the next step in the journey.

In terms of my career tour it was time to head up to the mountain.

The main lodge at Kiwanis Camp

When I reached the gate there was a man leaving. He said he was the last one there and he had locked up. I told him I worked there in 1974 and he told me they had plowed a parking area up the road and I was welcome to wander around the place on my own.

Looking into the lodge where the dining hall had been, I remember all the songs that sung there.

The wonder of that summer included, upon my return to civilization in August, a letter from the University Scholars Program at Portland State University. The letter informed me that I, a fellow with no grades from his last 2 years of high school and no SAT scores and no academic involvement, had impressed them with my level of academic achievement and they were inviting me to join the Honors College at PSU.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that other people had needed to meet strict grade and SAT level criterion to get in. It was mysterious and compelling.

I thought it was a sign. So I showed up at the Scholars Program and next thing I knew I was a full time student with a career goal of working with people who have disabilities. Initially I was just going for the special ed teacher kind of thing but soon learned there were more opportunities.

The Kiwanis Camp, it turns out, had significant connections in the special ed department at PSU. That connection somehow became a recommendation that got me in college headed for a career.

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April 5th, 2021

I retired from my job at the cuckoo’s nest- Oregon State Hospital- on March 31st, last week. It was an end to 49 years of work. My first real job was in the summer of 1972 at the Green Furniture Hospital. My brother’s friend Roy helped me get the job. I stopped by there last week.

Green Furniture Hospital

Today is also the 28th anniversary of my teenage daughter’s suicide. Some things never grow old.

Erin at 12 the summer before she took her life.

In a little bit I will travel to Portland with Elizabeth to meet Matt at Powell Butte where her ashes are buried. I’ll continue this afterwards.

Back from Powell Butte. A lot of tree damage up there from the big ice storm. I left some change and diet coke at the spot.

When I was out the other day looking at places where I worked I also stopped by my first high school. It was Washington High but became a music venue (Revolution Hall and more recently it looks like a Whole Foods overlooking the old football field. The Revolution Hall is shuttered due to Covid. Don’t know if they’re coming back or not. Two blocks from there is the house where I was initiated into Ananda Marga.

My old school.
The house at 1400 SE Oak that used to be the jagriti in 1971.

The past week I have felt awash in loss. It has felt very true that all of life is loss. (I know it is also rebirth- the thing is just transformation- but my heart wants to hold on to what it loves.)

Looking ahead I feel extremely positive. I am grateful to not have to work to survive right now. I am grateful for the opportunity to see who I am without the job.

Identity is a big piece of this-

My work life has meant the construction of a work persona. The role uses skills that I have but which also cost me. It has never really been a fair deal. The end of work as my way of living is one brick out of the wall.

The Green Furniture Hospital is where it started. I stopped in. I told the guys there that I worked there in 1972. They let me look around. They showed me some pictures of people that used to work there. In the oldest ones there was someone that looked like me. It all looked the same though they said there had been a fire 25 years ago.

On good days I worked in the shop sanding furniture (“furns” we called them, “green furns”), removing paint and stuff with Jasco. On bad days I worked in the basement scrubbing furniture in a vat of solvents. Acetone, toluene and one other I can’t remember. There was a tiny window in one end of the basement. After I’d go home and shower you could still smell remover on my breath. On the best days I got to go on pick ups or deliveries.

Across the street there was the park where I used to eat my peanut butter and honey sandwiches for lunch. I was a vegetarian.

Then back into the shop.

I got the job to earn money for a school trip to Mexico. That was just a blast. Worth it. Another story for sure.

Interesting that my career began at the Green Furniture Hospital that was not a hospital and ended at the Oregon State Hospital which is also not a hospital. (It’s basically a mental health prison and forced treatment center but that’s another story, too.)

Today I got too tense. I was struggling to be engaged and social and normal and I’ve been freaking out inside. It doesn’t help that I can’t express it well. I feel ashamed that I am unable to relax or get energy from being around people. I get many good things from being around people but energy or relaxed are not two of them. Then on a day like today I feel overwhelmed and eventually end up barking to be left alone.

On the other hand, for an anniversary day it’s not so bad. And I haven’t had any issues or “symptoms” in the weeks or days leading up to it. Everyone has been good and kind.

This topic of identity, roles and work is one I will come back to. I have the time and the general inclination to write. Today is not the day.

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Six chapters up now

Go to the Liam tab above or follow the link.

Liam, Maj & the Star Fishes | moon soup (moon-soup.com)

Also, any and all feedback is appreciated.

My sister Becky has given me excellent and specific edits that are now reflected in the first five chapters. My son Matt gave me some critical feedback that helped me make significant improvements to one chapter (these are already reflected in the draft). I made other adjustments on 4/4/21.

Especially for Liam commentary or suggestions but I now have a site email- RickSnook@moon-soup.com

Write to me and I’ll get it!

(updated 4/4/21)

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Added 2 chapters to Liam/ Starfishes story

Also, I am getting some good critical feedback, will update with some recommended changes eventually. My sister Becky has suggested several grammatical and clarity improvements. For now I’m just posting what I’ve already written. Next week, chapters 5 & 6.

On an unrelated note:

https://moon-soup.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/wib-slower.gif?resize=214%2C214

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Note page changes above

Took out a few, added Liam etc., the story I am writing. Currently I am posting 2 chapters a week until I catch up with where I’m at. This will take a month or so. After that I’ll post them as I find them to be somewhat finished.

FYI- these are better than rough drafts but not really finished. This is my first attempt at writing a story I have had in my head for decades. It’s my first attempt at writing a story at all.

I’m retiring at the end of this month so I expect to be able to write more quickly.

Check it out. It’s a sci-fi/ western/ Mahabharata kind of story.

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Om Nama Shivaya

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Various videos now up

I’ll keep adding to it.

Mostly old songs now. From late 80s to mid 90s.

moonsoupvideo – YouTube

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Ashes of Your Love

Written to God, 1994.

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PRS Intro

Originally a powerpoint show for onboarding psychiatrists, second draft of video version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcWgYydbAzo&feature=youtu.be

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Update

Two sentence horror-

Yesterday was my 13 year old daughter’s 40th birthday.

She was the youngest female suicide in the state in 1993.

Also, Rest In Peace Julie

Apart since 2012, my wife of 25 years, who raised my family with me,

Passed away at the end of October.

Can’t figure out pictures on the site- it’s been awhile since I was here.

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