Category Archives: Uncategorized
Learning tO accept yOurself…
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An old one, by Jim, new one by me
Reprinted from years ago when he lived in a dirty old concrete box full of overcrowded rooms [now he lives in a new, clean concrete box with only one roommate!]. One of the first poems he showed me. It was in the first year of my work as the last watercooler in hell. We spent months just talking and sharing poetry every week.
This one broke my heart.
Girlfriend
written 2/21/09 6:25 p.m.
We watched a butterfly be born into the world
Held hands at a scary film
Thought silly jokes were funny
Smiled with our eyes
I love you was spoken a lot
Mingled with other couples
Broke up once or twice
People talked about our relationship
She wrote when I was gone in jail
This is where we failed
My time was longer than her love
Have a picture of her I can’t tear up
It looks like she is shaking her finger at me in the picture
Wish I wouldn’t have made my mistake
Stakes were too high for me
Alone again with 40 men
This next is mine, this morning.
Welcome to-
Arrive by jail van
drive through a garage door that closes behind you
the world has turned upside down
everyone has latex gloves
“Take off your clothes and get in the shower to the right”
frightened, you look for a human face
without success
you may not see those clothes again
people are watching you through a mirrored window
instructions come from the wall mounted speaker
high above reach
“If you can’t clean yourself properly we will send someone to help you”
you don’t want to be touched by those rubber hands
you do your best to obey but it is hard-
nothing makes sense, you suppress an urge to scream out loud
they are making sure you don’t have anything
anything at all
you are truly stripped by the time they let you into the next room
“Put on these clothes. We will help you if you can’t do it by yourself”
again you comply
“What is happening to me?
What happened to your face?”
“We will help you to get better”
time, ushered along, nothing is right
[correct, true, accurate, factual, fit, satisfactory]
go to your room
. . . .
Doctor: “My job is to diagnose your illness,
prescribe medications
and take you to court if you refuse them”
“I’m not here to talk to you or listen-
in fact, if you see me coming that’s bad news for you”
and, you think, I still haven’t gotten my self back
(or my clothes and by the way
NPR never sent me the tote bag they promised during the fund drive)
. . . .
oh God, if I’m crazy what does that make
You
Filed under Mental Hell Treatment, pictures, poetry, Uncategorized
Anything Less
I’ve got a nasty little
case of wounded pride
and dreams of grandeur
welling up inside of me,
and you can’t see it,
but it’s done gone
to festering,
poisoning my blood
stream and giving
me delusions,
hallucinations
of how I long to
spend my time,
and it’s an infliction that
won’t get better,
sorry friends
there’s just no
cure for it,
–
I’m heading down
a dark path
towards greatness
and its a crying
shame there’s not
a damned thing that
needs fixed and I’m afraid
I just wont accept
anything less.
______________________________
Happy Friday, folks! Just a quick scrap here that I wanted to toss up before something gets in the way. It’s still a project in the works, but I like the idea behind it. Anywho, hope your weekend is awesome and that Monday takes a while to rear its ugly head.
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Ego Depletion
From Jacek, newly retired psychologist from OSH.
The Misconception: Willpower is just a metaphor.
The Truth: Willpower is a finite resource.
In 2005, a team of psychologists made a group of college students feel like scum.
The researchers invited the undergraduates into their lab and asked the students to just hang out for a while and get to know each other. The setting was designed to simulate a casual meet-and-greet atmosphere, you know, like a reception or an office Christmas party – the sort of thing that never really feels all that casual?
The students divided into same-sex clusters of about six people each and chatted for 20 minutes using conversation starters provided by the researchers. They asked things like “Where are you from?” and “What is your major?” and “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Researchers asked the students beforehand to make an effort to learn each other’s names during…
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Life – The Bad Dog
You can’t turn your back on it,
you know.
You’ve tended to it, cared for it,
nursed it from vacant bones and
put meat to its flesh, but it doesn’t
know any better, does it?
You won’t be able to make it
understand exactly what time and effort
and love you’ve put into it, or what
hope you have for it, what future
you want for it.
Sure, you can pander to it,
plead with it, prey about it,
but it is not so much deaf as alien,
aware, alive, yet unknowing-
uncaring for our ways.
Unlistening and yet hearing, it
is just another animal, another
guiltless stray that wanders on in step
with us from the moment we take it in
to the feasting scraps of
our final days.
And, worst of all, it will not linger
when our kindly offerings are gone.
No. It will just do as…
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moon soup 